Okay- packing up the last bits and pieces, and starving poor doggy ready for her op tomorrow. Sheesh. Wish I wasnt going now. But this holiday was originally booked as an escape from the stress of the last 12 years looking after my elderly mother, who sadly died last autumn. But of course life cannot leave me in peace, so now I have dog trauma to deal with and I would rather be here and, if she survives the op, make sure her post operative care is good. I am sure my dear boy will do his best for her and I shall have to trust him.

So I must finish packing and sorting out my clear plastic bags of no more than 8 inches to put clear liquids in etc etc and making sure my handbag fits in my one piece of cabin luggage. Oh boy. This is to put my Bach rescue remedy in as I am phobic about flying. If I am not drugged up to the eye balls and full of liquor I cant hack flying at all. Anyway I think I shant want to be flying anymore after this trip because of the potential nasty scenario of global warming. And if anyone remains to be convinced on this just have a look at this weeks Sunday Times magazine.It is truly frightening and we should all be putting our differences aside for now and pulling together to save the poor planet from our terrbile lack of care to it thus far. It's one thing to not know, it's quite another thing to know, to be warned and then do sod all about it.

So, Go Green.............

I am tired.

It's been a frenetic couple of days....I am off on hols ( or should I say we, that is my old git et moi) and I have been finishing off as much as possible at work - although this is not possible; there is too much and not enough time. So I did the most important and everything else will have to wait.

Then Friday was spent running around chasing my tail and then having to take one of my doggies to the vet...turns out she's got pyrometras and is off for an operation on Monday- just as we going flying off into the wild blue yonder. She is going to be left to the tender nursing of No 1 son. I am not at all happy about all this. She only started with symptoms on Tuesday and they were typical Minnie stuff - she's a moody little bitch at the best of times. She would have to get this right now though. I know I didnt get her spayed as a puppy but this was because our other dog was spayed and there has been an 11 year problem of fatness, dieting, scavenging and illness as a result of eating anything she could find. And her coat went horrible. So little Mins has been lean and lithe and smooth coated but now she is in for a hysterectomy, essentially. Pauvre Minnie. She has an enlarged heart too - all this inbreeding - so I am crossing my fingers she survives. Oh la.

And I am also trying to pack, and get my drugs ( I hate flying and have to take a plethora of drugs to get on a plane- hopefully global warming will be just the reason I need to ban all flying in future- except *small voice* I would like to see New Zealand first. This is a wish from childhood- the other place I want to see is Madagascar. This is what Geography at school can do to you.) Anyhoos with all this terrorism thing I hope I will be allowed on board with my cocktail of stuff. Otherwise I shall want to tear the doors off the plane and jump out. Oppssss.....

And I have done no writing whatsoever as I have been too knackered. I should at least free write every day, but I've been too knackered for that too. I guess I could regard this place as a free write journal, of sorts. Only I am trying to watch the punctuation and spelling mistakes.

I am still researching for my novel. I keep up with what Viggo Mortensen does as he is sort of who my protagonist is ( very loosely) based on. I am saying this here- cos I hope he doesnt mind. But he wont know anyway because no-one reads my blog, so it's irrelevant really!!! So I can free write away to my hearts content!! ehehehehe.....tra lalalala...right better go and get Mins her anitbiotic. Oh I do so hope she survives Monday and if she does that, that she survives her post operative care......

Phew, I need a break. I get into work, the phone starts ringing, the demands start flowing, the letters need writing and the reports comiling. It doesnt stop all day. I generally work through lunch and even though I work part time - 3 days a week- it feels like I've been through a wringer. Is it because I am over a Certain Age? Is it because it's stressful and I get stressed? Is it because I don't really want to be here anymore?

The only thing that keeps me going ( apart from the pittance I am paid) is the fact that perhaps I can ensure that development puts back more than its takes out, or that I get some land reclaimed or something. But, these opportunities are getting less and less these days as our poor crowded island gets more and more pressure to build, develop, whatever and all the birdies are going as their habitat is lost, and the butterflies, and whatever else is still left. I havent seen a sparrow in our garden for - well it must be 10 years at least. Why not? No-one can answer my question. I wonder if I'll see the swifts again this year? They lodge in our roof for the summer. That is the roof of the turret- a singularly eccentric Victorian feature, but as its over 3 stories and Health and Safety dictates scaffolding everytime something needs doing over 2 stories - then they are going to continue to be left in peace and quiet- if they come back at all. I so like to hear and see them, swooping and diving and calling. It's lovely. I suppose global warming will wipe them out, as it is the polar bear and our hedgehogs.

How can we kill our hedgehogs? Apparently the winters are so mild now they are not hibernating properly, and are staying up all winter. But there's no food for them , so they are dying of starvation. How can we do this to these poor little animals?

Yes, ditch your 4x4s, take your 2x2s and walk, give up the homes abroad, support your local services and shops and give up flying and going on cruises- planes and boats are terrible polluters. We could all go back to horse drawn transport or bikes, or develop solar powered vehicles. We would learn to live in communities again instead of hiding ourselves away in big cars and ubercool flats trying desperately to be trendy but actually probably being very lonely.

Ah well. In my dreams. Back to starving hedgehogs and pollution- such is a planners lot.....

Where did yesterday go? By the time I had sorted out workmen, been to the gym (substitute for regular yoga class), been and done a large supermarket shop, visited friends who invited us for a drink in thanks for looking after some friends of theirs, cooked dinner and done other sundry housework chores - it had all gone. And no writing done. I did get on the internet for a few minutes- enough to find another short story which may make a better adaptation for college than the one I have been fiddling with for weeks. I am going to start looking in more detail at that in a mo. No 1 son is pressurising me though as he wants to get on here to apply for another job - even though he has one offered and accepted and I think it would be all he would like except- and this is the big except- he doesnt think he can live on the money offered in London. He's probably right. But he has all these online tests to do , which take a while and that means I cant get on here. I keep meaning to go to PC world and ask about those wifi thingies so he could use his laptop....shall do that tomorrow perhaps- if I remember. I have other things to think about - like I have to go to the doctor cos my optician tells me I have high cholesterol...ooopppss.....I am instantly trying to cut down on fats- hoping I might lose a bit of weight too. I see the Adkins diet has been checked out as the most successful way to diet if you are a woman. Alas if you have high cholesterol I dont suppose stuffing your face with more fat/protein is a good way to go- unless someone can prove that it doesnt add to cholesterol.

I am amazed I suffer from this though- I dont eat chips, crisps, MacDonalds, fried food, I eat lots of fresh fruit and veg, muesli for brekkies, steamed veggies and so on. Its not a hereditary disease so far as I am aware..so what gives? I'll have to wait and see the doc. ho hum.

Right well better not put off the old writing. Have a three page radio dialogue to do too..... I wonder if stress causes high cholesterol?

Aiyeee...it's a lovely sunny morning, touch of frost and blue skies like the Med. Hope this really is not global warming, but it's so hard to ignore all little warning signs..birds trying to nest already, bumble bees out and about, roses flowering all winter, a beautiful butterfly hanging around on the windowsill- a Peacock or a Red Admiral- looking in the books the colourway was Red Admiral but surely it couldnt have been?

Anyway I try not to think about it cos what can one small person do against the might of global economies such as China? Diddly squat, that's what. It breaks my heart to see the polar bears drowning or turning to cannabalism cos of us - and it is us.

I wasn't actually in here regarding global warming though. I was going to get off my chest a pet hate. Fortunately it's not just my pet hate - it's my friends too. We are not saddos but we do have - manners?

Last night a friend and I went to see Notes on a Scandal at our local family cinema. Now we can understand they have problems competing with the multiplexes- where this also goes on- but, hey, we paid for our tickets same as everyone else, and all through this quiet drama film we had to listen to crunch crunch munch munch, scrabble in the popcorn box for more.... did we want to listen to people masticating over the film dialogue? Er, no, I don't think so. But, nevertheless, this is what we were treated to. And there was nowhere else to move except behind huge people which meant we couldnt see the screen, or right at the front, where being over a Certain Age means you can't see the screen properly. Turning round and remonstrating has no effect on these rude and selfish people. It quite ruined the film for us.

Why oh why do people feel they can disturb others in a public place and its OK? I am an occasional smoker - but I am hounded into social pariahness. If I go travelling by boat or train or plane I am not allowed to smoke anywhere. I am not allowed to smoke in a restaurant or any public venue. But hey, these people can't not eat for 90 minutes or so?? Excuse me. It's really sad. Difficult to stop because cinemas earn extra income so they arent going to stop selling popcorn ( and what a mess people leave with it too) or noisy packets of sweets. It's making going to the flicks an endurance test.

Why are people so rude and selfish? Beats me.

Oh well, rant over. Better get on with today's packed programme.

Before I plunge into the morass which is my work I thought I would blog a bit to get my brain going- the next door neighbour's car alarm woke us at 3.15am and in the end that and snoring dog meant a severe lack of sleep.

I am also in a quandry about what to do with my next major college assignment. We have to adapt something- upto 6000 words plus commentary. As I am doing a scriptwriting option this year the obvious thing to do seemed to be to adapt a short story to a film short ( 30 mins = 3- pages). I hunted for suitable short stores, rejected 3 because I could see it would be hard to make meaningful adaptations, and plumped for a story about 2 old biddies in a nursing home. It's quite a nice story and brings the plight of the elderly into focus ( and lets face it I am going to be there shortly unless something nasty gets in the way instead), so it's a topic coming closer to home. Also my mother was in a care home for years so its something I am very familiar with. Write what you know and all that.

Well I had a quick discussion with my tutor on Monday night and she thinks there's too much dialogue to suit the visual medium of film. I said I imagined it along the lines of Alan Bennet's Talking Heads. She was not impressed. There are too many characters for radio, so that left a theatre play- or TV I suppose- though I dont have a clue about TV adaptations. I havent done stage plays either. I cant stop thinking about how I could adapt the story to a stage play- there are at least 10 characters, who need to be around at the same time and really, to break it up a bit, at least 3 locations. I can't think my way round how I deal with this all on one stage- especially when the received wisdom seems to be minimum props/bare stage.

Another contribution to a sleepless night.

Oh b*****......think I shall research TV instead?

But first I have to get on with some work....oh b*****...............