You see- I can't do it all- work , write, look after house, husband, dogs, etc etc etc. Time slips through my fingers

But I had to come in and log that I am getting one of my short stories published!! Bioing, boing, boing... I'm boinging around the room....

now does that mean the publication is crap and they are desperate or that I am actually a good writer ???

Oh what the hell. I don't care..I'm getting published!!

In Dream Catcher literary magazine - yee ha!!

Ooooeeeeeeeeeee I am part of a blog that has been awarded Blog of the Day!! See my links to wikidwords...

Well done Jude!!

See if you can spot my contributions.... my name here is not my name there- so spot the writer!!

In the meantime I have to keep on writing so nose to the grindstone even though I have a huge family problem hovering over me like a vulture just waiting - no pressure then eh?

Another exhausting day at the office..... if I have to deal with any more planning crap....so I am in here for a mo to calm down and recover.

Two of my short stories went down well at my meeting last night - I hardly feel I can rise to the level of my fellow writers though- where do they get their ideas? their use of language, no spelling mistakes and repetition and tightly structured narrative?? I hope more practice will get me there. I just have to edit my stories now. I might put one in for a competition or maybe try another magazine. It would be nice to have some public recognition that Im not writing crap- perhaps I am- it's what I do most days at work!!!!

Right, onwards and upwards...at least its another beautiful sunny day. I should rush home and take the doggy bags out. Except I am knackered, and have to pack tonight for a weekend away celebrating my other half's niece's wedding. Hmmmm.

I have a new job interview tomorrow morning to get out of the way first. Can't get worked up about it really- I'd rather give up the day job if I could and just write.

Dream on.........

Heigh ho, I think our swifts have gone. They've been nesting in our roof every year since we've been here - and I won't go into that but its a few generations of swifts. Every year they turn up I think 'summer's here' but I think this year has been a bit wet for them. Apparently though their eggs can survive without being sat on for quite a while ( sort of go into temporary hibernation ) and the baby birds can do the same whilst mum and dad fly up to 800 kilometres- yes thats 800 kilometres - in a day to find food where its not pouring down with rain. Well our lot must have headed upto Scotland way or over to France this summer.....

On Sunday their was a big gathering overhead. I think they must have been discussing routes back to Africa, or where they'd meet up for a pit stop. There was a huge flock of them wheeling and diving all afternoon and evening, and on Monday - nothing. I've waited just in case, but they've definately gone. I do miss them. They get up to the most wondeful antics. And it also means summer is drawing to a close - I know it will be Christmas shortly- the cards are already making a sneaky appearance in some places..... drat.

Eeeewwwwwwww......... why do I bother nipping in here?

Sigh...dunno.... had a nice few days en France and some sublime food- particularly at one little auberge in the Vendee...exquisite. But now I am back to sick doggy and huge ginormous vet's bills, stress at work, and writers block. I just can't think how to write my novel- the approach, the style. Oh..*ugger. It won't go away, it obviously wants to be written, it's stopping me getting on to the the next one on the list. In the meantime I pass time by writing short stories...quantity rather than quality I suspect...but you have to keep the old brain exercised. So, 1..2..3.. with front lobes pressed to hypothalamus now sit up, and down, up and down...

exhausted already I shall retire for lunch....

Guess what it's doing here? Not much of a contest really because, of course, it's raining. How can the sky cry so much? Everything is sodden, rooms feel chilled and cold, the light is a watery ( haha) grey, leaves are rotting in puddles and moss and lichens are mottling the roof slates like a blush.

Gloom.

And more gloom- I have been rejected...wah wah....blub. Well I know as a writer one has to expect this- grow a thick skin and keep on plodding. But what to do? This years entries for this new writers competition were apparently exceptionally high, good quality...what was wrong with mine then? It got me a 2.1 on a uni creative writing course. Was it boring? was the subject not arresting enough? It was about a young Cuban girl caught thieving. Previous feedback from many sources was very good. How come therefore the others were better? And what is better? How do you define writing as better? Is it just what is fashionable? Oh gloom. I am going to curl up and have a Good Sulk. Despite my scriptwriting first.

Aiyeeeeee......it will soon be Christmas at this rate. Where does the *odding time go?

Well I did have a nice Long weekend in Lille with my old friend Maggie. It's a while since we have done the Eurostar shuffle- but three nights for the price of two and free first class upgrade you can't complain can you? And...the sales were on....ehehehe....I am not telling my other half what I spent. Well I do work.

And I didnt have to worry about still smoking- sorry Paul - but your methods have failed all together. Sad, but true. Nicotine is a greater addiction than you realise. But les Francais? They dont bother. OK you cant smoke inside but they make plenty of provision for outside and you dont feel like a hunted animal either. Vive la France!! It's only here...why the Uk government signs up for all these conventions when no-one else seems to bother I don't know. Its PC gone mad. Health and Safety- have they heard of it in France? I dont think so. Good for them.

Quoi d'autre? Got a first for one of my script writing assignments- who wants a great new scriptwriting talent? I can help!!

Dog still ill though- down at the vets yet again- back on Monday- there last Friday. Apart from the expense she's very down at the moment. It's such a shame.Pauvre chien.

Right better go and get dinner. Am supposed to be on a diet - yet again. Something has got to work. The aim is to get a stone off in 2 days...no well a few pounds in a few weeks would be useful- so at least I can turn up at my other half's niece's wedding looking vaguely decent.

Oppppppssss doing badly today - 6 cigs so far.....am under extreme stress. Sorry Paul, can't cope. Your strategies are not strong enough for this sort of situation. No 1 son is disappearing off into the wild blue yonder, and despite my understanding of his desire to travel and see the world I shall miss him dreadfully- and this is despite all the arguments etc that go on.

So, stress. And I have been stuffing my face with all sorts of calories- another no no as weight loss is also on my agenda. Heigh ho.

Start again tomorrow.

What a glorious weekend- we saw The Sun- this is a rare occurance in the UK these days; it's usually rain, rain and more rain that we see. So, apart from watching the Wimbledon finals I was mostly outside.

I havent been able to get on with my novel at all. I dont know what to do with my main protagonist. Well that's not quite true- but it's this film star thing. Perhaps I could make him a TV commentator instead. Got to think about it a bit more- and start new research if that's the case.

In the meantime I am trying to cut down and ultimately stop smoking. Yes I am one of those social pariah's that in UK PC Ltd is now victimised and marginalised. It wouldn't be allowed to happen to any other group here- human rights and discrimination would be called loudly- but smokers are a target for all frustrations. And so are motorists, but that's another story.

So, I am trying to follow Paul McKenna's self help guide in The Times. Now normally this paper is in our house every day, but since there is something I want strangely neither my husband or son have bothered to buy it. I am not admitting to doing this- I am not bowing to pressure( I am a Rebel) so I am doing it quietly. Anyhoos I have managed to cut down from the 8 a day I normally smoke ( and enjoy) to about 4. The idea is that the nicotine will lose it's hold and then I shall forget to smoke. I am pretty forgetful so this could work. With the self hypnosis and NLP techniques which I think are what are being used I am trying to distract myself. It's Plan A. It's jolly hard too especially when I am doing my book- smoking is an aid to concentration - and other things like gum do just not work the same way.

So wish me luck!

: )

Two comments - thank you very much the two of you for stopping by and commenting. It's just such a big universe out there....I feel like I am floating around aimlessly and bumping into no-one - so contact is very nice! Hope to see you again sometime!

At the moment I am actually supposed to be writing - ho ho ho. I am having a hard time doing this-is it writers block? I don't mind that 'cos I know it is an emphemeral thing and will go. But if it's because I have lost faith in my own story- OMG..what to do what to do?

In amongst the stress that is causing I am also trying to give up smoking- not because I am told to do so by the Government here in the UK where life is soooooooooooo PC it's beyond belief - but because I am convinced I have Something Nasty as a result of smoking. Well, its either that or the damp atmosphere. I can't believe the sky can hold so much rain....it has barely stopped over the last week or so, and just as a patch of blue sky appears and the sun peeks out, another load of cloud races over and it rains yet again. Perhaps this nasty chesty feeling is because I am morphing into a duck. I notice that my voice is changing- hope I am not going to be quacking shortly.

Heigh ho- well back to work I go...

Sigh............ I see no-one reads my blog.........

how sad is that?????

Long time no post....been too busy working on college assignments- short film scripts! Wow I am a script writer- but now what do I do with them???

That aside I have sunk into a mega depression cos I have returned to my book to knock it into shape for next term- to progress it and get it written. I have found I cant get inspired by it any more. The whole story is swirling around but I feel my main protagonists role as a male film star is a bit ...trite?

If any body reads this can you tell me- would you read a book about a middle aged male film star having a mid life crisis- or would you just think ..boring????

It's been a long time eh. So much for good intentions. Too much work , too much college work, too much housework and not enough play, making me a dull girl.

Hey ho. I dont think I even have anything to chat about my brain is so tired. Should I have a complete break or should I continue slogging away at my draft assignment for college? A 30 min original film short script. I have already done one draft but found the story petered out after page 19- so now I have beefed it up with a twist on the original but I dont know how to translate that properly. I know a script writer of experience could do it with one hand tied and all that, but I am struggling- or is it just tiredness?

Had an interview on Friday- the first one in 10 years. No doubt opened my big mouth and put a huge foot in it. Do I care? Yes ..and no....hmmm, possibly just too knackered to care.

So, onwards and upwards I shall go stare at my script and see if inspiration strikes...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Back again.

Where did those weeks go? In a haze of dog operation, interviews, long haul flight to Capetown ( guilt guilt at carbon pollution caused by flight), 12 odd days of up at 7am, breakfast by 8am and off by 8.15am- did I say this was a holiday?

South Africa is not what I expected - I don't know what I expected but it wasnt what I found. Of course we were on the softies version of a walking holiday and I would have to make sure I did at least 3 months fitness training I think to do anything more than we did. It must be this getting older thing- I feel I must be taking one step forward for every two steps backwards. Despite two months twice a week at the gym in addition to regular yoga and pilates and that still had abolutely no effect my walking capabilities. I was knackered as soon as we started going up hill....it must be age. Having said that it is most off putting to be walking Table Mountain to find a group of hardy old folkies who had actually walked up the bloody thing in the first place- whereas we took the cable car. Opppsss.... definately must make more effort. How and when I am not sure however. However I must now stop prevaricating and get on with my MA homework- adapting a short story to a fillum. Mentally very taxing. Or should I have a cup of tea and read the paper? Hmmmmm....no no must work must work....

Okay- packing up the last bits and pieces, and starving poor doggy ready for her op tomorrow. Sheesh. Wish I wasnt going now. But this holiday was originally booked as an escape from the stress of the last 12 years looking after my elderly mother, who sadly died last autumn. But of course life cannot leave me in peace, so now I have dog trauma to deal with and I would rather be here and, if she survives the op, make sure her post operative care is good. I am sure my dear boy will do his best for her and I shall have to trust him.

So I must finish packing and sorting out my clear plastic bags of no more than 8 inches to put clear liquids in etc etc and making sure my handbag fits in my one piece of cabin luggage. Oh boy. This is to put my Bach rescue remedy in as I am phobic about flying. If I am not drugged up to the eye balls and full of liquor I cant hack flying at all. Anyway I think I shant want to be flying anymore after this trip because of the potential nasty scenario of global warming. And if anyone remains to be convinced on this just have a look at this weeks Sunday Times magazine.It is truly frightening and we should all be putting our differences aside for now and pulling together to save the poor planet from our terrbile lack of care to it thus far. It's one thing to not know, it's quite another thing to know, to be warned and then do sod all about it.

So, Go Green.............

I am tired.

It's been a frenetic couple of days....I am off on hols ( or should I say we, that is my old git et moi) and I have been finishing off as much as possible at work - although this is not possible; there is too much and not enough time. So I did the most important and everything else will have to wait.

Then Friday was spent running around chasing my tail and then having to take one of my doggies to the vet...turns out she's got pyrometras and is off for an operation on Monday- just as we going flying off into the wild blue yonder. She is going to be left to the tender nursing of No 1 son. I am not at all happy about all this. She only started with symptoms on Tuesday and they were typical Minnie stuff - she's a moody little bitch at the best of times. She would have to get this right now though. I know I didnt get her spayed as a puppy but this was because our other dog was spayed and there has been an 11 year problem of fatness, dieting, scavenging and illness as a result of eating anything she could find. And her coat went horrible. So little Mins has been lean and lithe and smooth coated but now she is in for a hysterectomy, essentially. Pauvre Minnie. She has an enlarged heart too - all this inbreeding - so I am crossing my fingers she survives. Oh la.

And I am also trying to pack, and get my drugs ( I hate flying and have to take a plethora of drugs to get on a plane- hopefully global warming will be just the reason I need to ban all flying in future- except *small voice* I would like to see New Zealand first. This is a wish from childhood- the other place I want to see is Madagascar. This is what Geography at school can do to you.) Anyhoos with all this terrorism thing I hope I will be allowed on board with my cocktail of stuff. Otherwise I shall want to tear the doors off the plane and jump out. Oppssss.....

And I have done no writing whatsoever as I have been too knackered. I should at least free write every day, but I've been too knackered for that too. I guess I could regard this place as a free write journal, of sorts. Only I am trying to watch the punctuation and spelling mistakes.

I am still researching for my novel. I keep up with what Viggo Mortensen does as he is sort of who my protagonist is ( very loosely) based on. I am saying this here- cos I hope he doesnt mind. But he wont know anyway because no-one reads my blog, so it's irrelevant really!!! So I can free write away to my hearts content!! ehehehehe.....tra lalalala...right better go and get Mins her anitbiotic. Oh I do so hope she survives Monday and if she does that, that she survives her post operative care......

Phew, I need a break. I get into work, the phone starts ringing, the demands start flowing, the letters need writing and the reports comiling. It doesnt stop all day. I generally work through lunch and even though I work part time - 3 days a week- it feels like I've been through a wringer. Is it because I am over a Certain Age? Is it because it's stressful and I get stressed? Is it because I don't really want to be here anymore?

The only thing that keeps me going ( apart from the pittance I am paid) is the fact that perhaps I can ensure that development puts back more than its takes out, or that I get some land reclaimed or something. But, these opportunities are getting less and less these days as our poor crowded island gets more and more pressure to build, develop, whatever and all the birdies are going as their habitat is lost, and the butterflies, and whatever else is still left. I havent seen a sparrow in our garden for - well it must be 10 years at least. Why not? No-one can answer my question. I wonder if I'll see the swifts again this year? They lodge in our roof for the summer. That is the roof of the turret- a singularly eccentric Victorian feature, but as its over 3 stories and Health and Safety dictates scaffolding everytime something needs doing over 2 stories - then they are going to continue to be left in peace and quiet- if they come back at all. I so like to hear and see them, swooping and diving and calling. It's lovely. I suppose global warming will wipe them out, as it is the polar bear and our hedgehogs.

How can we kill our hedgehogs? Apparently the winters are so mild now they are not hibernating properly, and are staying up all winter. But there's no food for them , so they are dying of starvation. How can we do this to these poor little animals?

Yes, ditch your 4x4s, take your 2x2s and walk, give up the homes abroad, support your local services and shops and give up flying and going on cruises- planes and boats are terrible polluters. We could all go back to horse drawn transport or bikes, or develop solar powered vehicles. We would learn to live in communities again instead of hiding ourselves away in big cars and ubercool flats trying desperately to be trendy but actually probably being very lonely.

Ah well. In my dreams. Back to starving hedgehogs and pollution- such is a planners lot.....

Where did yesterday go? By the time I had sorted out workmen, been to the gym (substitute for regular yoga class), been and done a large supermarket shop, visited friends who invited us for a drink in thanks for looking after some friends of theirs, cooked dinner and done other sundry housework chores - it had all gone. And no writing done. I did get on the internet for a few minutes- enough to find another short story which may make a better adaptation for college than the one I have been fiddling with for weeks. I am going to start looking in more detail at that in a mo. No 1 son is pressurising me though as he wants to get on here to apply for another job - even though he has one offered and accepted and I think it would be all he would like except- and this is the big except- he doesnt think he can live on the money offered in London. He's probably right. But he has all these online tests to do , which take a while and that means I cant get on here. I keep meaning to go to PC world and ask about those wifi thingies so he could use his laptop....shall do that tomorrow perhaps- if I remember. I have other things to think about - like I have to go to the doctor cos my optician tells me I have high cholesterol...ooopppss.....I am instantly trying to cut down on fats- hoping I might lose a bit of weight too. I see the Adkins diet has been checked out as the most successful way to diet if you are a woman. Alas if you have high cholesterol I dont suppose stuffing your face with more fat/protein is a good way to go- unless someone can prove that it doesnt add to cholesterol.

I am amazed I suffer from this though- I dont eat chips, crisps, MacDonalds, fried food, I eat lots of fresh fruit and veg, muesli for brekkies, steamed veggies and so on. Its not a hereditary disease so far as I am aware..so what gives? I'll have to wait and see the doc. ho hum.

Right well better not put off the old writing. Have a three page radio dialogue to do too..... I wonder if stress causes high cholesterol?

Aiyeee...it's a lovely sunny morning, touch of frost and blue skies like the Med. Hope this really is not global warming, but it's so hard to ignore all little warning signs..birds trying to nest already, bumble bees out and about, roses flowering all winter, a beautiful butterfly hanging around on the windowsill- a Peacock or a Red Admiral- looking in the books the colourway was Red Admiral but surely it couldnt have been?

Anyway I try not to think about it cos what can one small person do against the might of global economies such as China? Diddly squat, that's what. It breaks my heart to see the polar bears drowning or turning to cannabalism cos of us - and it is us.

I wasn't actually in here regarding global warming though. I was going to get off my chest a pet hate. Fortunately it's not just my pet hate - it's my friends too. We are not saddos but we do have - manners?

Last night a friend and I went to see Notes on a Scandal at our local family cinema. Now we can understand they have problems competing with the multiplexes- where this also goes on- but, hey, we paid for our tickets same as everyone else, and all through this quiet drama film we had to listen to crunch crunch munch munch, scrabble in the popcorn box for more.... did we want to listen to people masticating over the film dialogue? Er, no, I don't think so. But, nevertheless, this is what we were treated to. And there was nowhere else to move except behind huge people which meant we couldnt see the screen, or right at the front, where being over a Certain Age means you can't see the screen properly. Turning round and remonstrating has no effect on these rude and selfish people. It quite ruined the film for us.

Why oh why do people feel they can disturb others in a public place and its OK? I am an occasional smoker - but I am hounded into social pariahness. If I go travelling by boat or train or plane I am not allowed to smoke anywhere. I am not allowed to smoke in a restaurant or any public venue. But hey, these people can't not eat for 90 minutes or so?? Excuse me. It's really sad. Difficult to stop because cinemas earn extra income so they arent going to stop selling popcorn ( and what a mess people leave with it too) or noisy packets of sweets. It's making going to the flicks an endurance test.

Why are people so rude and selfish? Beats me.

Oh well, rant over. Better get on with today's packed programme.

Before I plunge into the morass which is my work I thought I would blog a bit to get my brain going- the next door neighbour's car alarm woke us at 3.15am and in the end that and snoring dog meant a severe lack of sleep.

I am also in a quandry about what to do with my next major college assignment. We have to adapt something- upto 6000 words plus commentary. As I am doing a scriptwriting option this year the obvious thing to do seemed to be to adapt a short story to a film short ( 30 mins = 3- pages). I hunted for suitable short stores, rejected 3 because I could see it would be hard to make meaningful adaptations, and plumped for a story about 2 old biddies in a nursing home. It's quite a nice story and brings the plight of the elderly into focus ( and lets face it I am going to be there shortly unless something nasty gets in the way instead), so it's a topic coming closer to home. Also my mother was in a care home for years so its something I am very familiar with. Write what you know and all that.

Well I had a quick discussion with my tutor on Monday night and she thinks there's too much dialogue to suit the visual medium of film. I said I imagined it along the lines of Alan Bennet's Talking Heads. She was not impressed. There are too many characters for radio, so that left a theatre play- or TV I suppose- though I dont have a clue about TV adaptations. I havent done stage plays either. I cant stop thinking about how I could adapt the story to a stage play- there are at least 10 characters, who need to be around at the same time and really, to break it up a bit, at least 3 locations. I can't think my way round how I deal with this all on one stage- especially when the received wisdom seems to be minimum props/bare stage.

Another contribution to a sleepless night.

Oh b*****......think I shall research TV instead?

But first I have to get on with some work....oh b*****...............

Well I am pleased to see an article in the Sunday Times Style magazine in praise of older women. I think its not before time myself. I havent caught up with the Oscars yet but if Helen Mirren gets one then hopefully the fashion industry, the media et al will wake up to the fact that there is more to life than being under 25.

I am trying to start a campaign, build up a head of steam, to get more recognition for those of us over 40 shall we say. I was at a friend's **th birthday party on Saturday having desperately trawled through my wardrobe to try to find something to wear that fitted and looked halfway decent. Strangely all the women at the party had exactly the same problem- no-one could find anything nice to wear that was grownup and not covered in girlie frills, baby patterns and cut so tight/short/ revealing that said items would be uncomfortable to wear. We variously felt we either looked like mutton dressed as white lamb or bag ladies. It's bad enough being over a Certain Age, without being unable to find clothes to fit properly ( and I am not talking expensive, just high street clothes so one is not walking around in dustbinliners)

This has more serious repercussions than me just whingeing about I havent got a thing to wear. Recently I see there is shed loads of reporterage about size 0 and the damage it is causing our teenage girls who aspire to size 0 at age 12 and end up with huge psychological problems. They don't grow up properly either- mentally and psychologically. Damaged goods.

Well if the fashion industry focussed on the older woman for a change that would make life easier for us and also take the heat off young girls. They could then (it won't happen stright away- but it would after a few years once the ball gets rolling) learn to be kids again, and grow up in their own time without fashion and the media whipping them on. I think this is a win- win situation myself.

Will anybody do anything about it?

Here we go.....

I feel like the White Rabbit out of Alice....no time..no time....

Three days at work plus dogs, housework, meeting workmen to dicuss spalling brickwork and other sundry repairs, putting up guests of a friend who was having such a large -- birthday party that his guests were bivouaced around and about, leaves like 40 seconds to do my adapted screenplay and crit someone else's work. I think I need to mutate into a spider, and then I'd have 4 pairs of legs - which I could use for all these tiresome jobbies wot I'd rather not do.

Oh, but a long time no see friend from France turned up, so that was nice way to lose time. It's comforting to know that folks don't change really. In fact most of my women friends are taking the toll of years exceedingly well. Maybe some middle aged spread, a few tiny wrinkles here and there, but on the whole they don't look at all bad. And they are so lively.

Whereas the men....well...what can I say? They might act like they are still 10, but grey hair, grey facial hair, bushy eyebrows that you need to get a hedge trimmer on, paunches, stoops and generally looking like they are letting themselves go. Tch tch. Or is this a cunning masterplan devised so they can all hang out together reliving their youth without their wives/partners going on at them?

One or two of my friends have toy boys (relatively speaking)...I can see why. So out with the old gits and in with their younger competitors?! I dont see why men should think they have the exclusive on younger models.

My trouble is I dont get out enough in the right sort of places to meet anyone younger. I am caught in a strata of older people. It's hard to cross these age barriers. Personally I dont want to hang out with 20 year old, but a healthy mix would be good. However, one never knows what's around the corner...

Talking of which my son had new horizens ahead of him. He's just landed himself his first proper job. Hurray hurray! In London starting in October. He's now planning a quick interim escape from us old fogies by travelling other parts of the World he hasnt seen yet. Don't know how environmentally friendly this is going to be as I think seeing friends in South America is on his agenda. What do you do though?

In the meantime I am feeling a mix of happiness for him and the start of a new phase in his life and sadness that he will be off again, happiness that I wont have a grumpy young man flopping around, sadness that the interesting, thoughtful laid back young man that he also is will not be around for much longer.

Heigh ho. Think I will go and have a strong cup of caffeine to distract me and get me awake enough to get on with some writting.

Tra la. Where does time go? I am supposed to be spending the day writing. Instead I have been doing housework, scooping poop, walking dogs, waiting for a decorator to come and give me a quote hopefully less jaw droppingly expensive than previous decorators and running my son to the station.

He's got a second round interview- advertising and marketing. Why hasnt he got his train tickets sorted out? Why hasnt he got his clothes sorted? Why is he washing his shirt and trousers at 11.00 am when his train is at 13.30? Why, when they are still damp-ish and he's packing, doesn't he iron said shirt and press said trousers first? The job is in advertising - which as I understood it is all about presentation?? Don't need to..... Excuse me??? Oh la; he's just too chilled.

I offered to run him to the station- to make sure he caught his train. Oh lets just stop at the doctors first as he needed to pick up a precription for antibiotics. Plenty of time- its 13.10 by now. There are roads works whichever way to the station. We choose Route B - oh just turn left up there- it doesnt say no entry- it doesnt have to - the lanes are marked straight on, the junction is deliberately designed to be awkward. Guess what- yep I have to turn left otherwise he wont get his ticket and he won't make the train.

I am a nervous wreck. He strolls off. I phone later- he caught the train. But - will he iron his shirt and press his trousers? So that at least he looks half decent.... Why am I a mother? Gawd- you should have to be interviewed for that as a job. It doesnt suit everyone you know. I probably would have been better as an estate agent.

Bless him though. I am crossing my fingers for him. And I hope I get my 50 quid back that I have lent him for expenses.....

Right back to some proper work.

Hmmmm. It's a long time since I was here. At my age it took several nanoseconds to register the changes.

Are they worth it? Is the new better than the old? If it aint broke why fix it shot through my mind. However, for medical research purposes I decided to give it a go. This is how you keep young I guess- experiment, be daring, change, do 70 situps.

I am gobsmacked that I got replies to my previous post last September. No-one reads my posts. Except two people. As I didnt think anyone did read them I have only just found this out.

*waving at my two contributors* thanks!!!

So what's up- well I shall put up a link ( if I can work out how to) to my Novel Experiences blog- cos that sort of sums up what's up. Novels- well script writing at present. I am also working on an anthology contribution. My novel is simmering on the back burner.

Perhaps I shall combine the two blogs- very wasteful to have two really in these days of global warming, sustainability and so forth.

I have to think of a suitable name though.....MA-dness ( I'm doing an MA and I'm mad) AlMAMater - I'm doing an MA, I'm mad and I'm a mother. Hmmmmmmm.

Talking of being a mother. No 1 son is home from his world travels. ( Well he came home last September). I think he had a good time, despite splitting up with his long term girlfriend. Every photo has him with his arm around a girlie and a pint in his hand. It's a hard life. But he's trying ( ??!!) - he has a second round interview for a graduate job next week and a first round assessment for another job in March. He's a very nice boy ( although I say it myself - well I would - wouldn't I? ) But it's time to move on. He needs a place of his own and a life away from home.

He is very lucky when you read of all the ills in this poor sad world of ours. He might be facing a very uncertain future though if global warming does kick in with a vengence. What a mess eh?

Right, well I wont start on a rant...I shall go and try and become more sophisticated on here.

Any comments most appreciated - just to see if anyone is still out there in blogland.