Guess what it's doing here? Not much of a contest really because, of course, it's raining. How can the sky cry so much? Everything is sodden, rooms feel chilled and cold, the light is a watery ( haha) grey, leaves are rotting in puddles and moss and lichens are mottling the roof slates like a blush.

Gloom.

And more gloom- I have been rejected...wah wah....blub. Well I know as a writer one has to expect this- grow a thick skin and keep on plodding. But what to do? This years entries for this new writers competition were apparently exceptionally high, good quality...what was wrong with mine then? It got me a 2.1 on a uni creative writing course. Was it boring? was the subject not arresting enough? It was about a young Cuban girl caught thieving. Previous feedback from many sources was very good. How come therefore the others were better? And what is better? How do you define writing as better? Is it just what is fashionable? Oh gloom. I am going to curl up and have a Good Sulk. Despite my scriptwriting first.

Aiyeeeeee......it will soon be Christmas at this rate. Where does the *odding time go?

Well I did have a nice Long weekend in Lille with my old friend Maggie. It's a while since we have done the Eurostar shuffle- but three nights for the price of two and free first class upgrade you can't complain can you? And...the sales were on....ehehehe....I am not telling my other half what I spent. Well I do work.

And I didnt have to worry about still smoking- sorry Paul - but your methods have failed all together. Sad, but true. Nicotine is a greater addiction than you realise. But les Francais? They dont bother. OK you cant smoke inside but they make plenty of provision for outside and you dont feel like a hunted animal either. Vive la France!! It's only here...why the Uk government signs up for all these conventions when no-one else seems to bother I don't know. Its PC gone mad. Health and Safety- have they heard of it in France? I dont think so. Good for them.

Quoi d'autre? Got a first for one of my script writing assignments- who wants a great new scriptwriting talent? I can help!!

Dog still ill though- down at the vets yet again- back on Monday- there last Friday. Apart from the expense she's very down at the moment. It's such a shame.Pauvre chien.

Right better go and get dinner. Am supposed to be on a diet - yet again. Something has got to work. The aim is to get a stone off in 2 days...no well a few pounds in a few weeks would be useful- so at least I can turn up at my other half's niece's wedding looking vaguely decent.

Oppppppssss doing badly today - 6 cigs so far.....am under extreme stress. Sorry Paul, can't cope. Your strategies are not strong enough for this sort of situation. No 1 son is disappearing off into the wild blue yonder, and despite my understanding of his desire to travel and see the world I shall miss him dreadfully- and this is despite all the arguments etc that go on.

So, stress. And I have been stuffing my face with all sorts of calories- another no no as weight loss is also on my agenda. Heigh ho.

Start again tomorrow.

What a glorious weekend- we saw The Sun- this is a rare occurance in the UK these days; it's usually rain, rain and more rain that we see. So, apart from watching the Wimbledon finals I was mostly outside.

I havent been able to get on with my novel at all. I dont know what to do with my main protagonist. Well that's not quite true- but it's this film star thing. Perhaps I could make him a TV commentator instead. Got to think about it a bit more- and start new research if that's the case.

In the meantime I am trying to cut down and ultimately stop smoking. Yes I am one of those social pariah's that in UK PC Ltd is now victimised and marginalised. It wouldn't be allowed to happen to any other group here- human rights and discrimination would be called loudly- but smokers are a target for all frustrations. And so are motorists, but that's another story.

So, I am trying to follow Paul McKenna's self help guide in The Times. Now normally this paper is in our house every day, but since there is something I want strangely neither my husband or son have bothered to buy it. I am not admitting to doing this- I am not bowing to pressure( I am a Rebel) so I am doing it quietly. Anyhoos I have managed to cut down from the 8 a day I normally smoke ( and enjoy) to about 4. The idea is that the nicotine will lose it's hold and then I shall forget to smoke. I am pretty forgetful so this could work. With the self hypnosis and NLP techniques which I think are what are being used I am trying to distract myself. It's Plan A. It's jolly hard too especially when I am doing my book- smoking is an aid to concentration - and other things like gum do just not work the same way.

So wish me luck!

: )

Two comments - thank you very much the two of you for stopping by and commenting. It's just such a big universe out there....I feel like I am floating around aimlessly and bumping into no-one - so contact is very nice! Hope to see you again sometime!

At the moment I am actually supposed to be writing - ho ho ho. I am having a hard time doing this-is it writers block? I don't mind that 'cos I know it is an emphemeral thing and will go. But if it's because I have lost faith in my own story- OMG..what to do what to do?

In amongst the stress that is causing I am also trying to give up smoking- not because I am told to do so by the Government here in the UK where life is soooooooooooo PC it's beyond belief - but because I am convinced I have Something Nasty as a result of smoking. Well, its either that or the damp atmosphere. I can't believe the sky can hold so much rain....it has barely stopped over the last week or so, and just as a patch of blue sky appears and the sun peeks out, another load of cloud races over and it rains yet again. Perhaps this nasty chesty feeling is because I am morphing into a duck. I notice that my voice is changing- hope I am not going to be quacking shortly.

Heigh ho- well back to work I go...

Sigh............ I see no-one reads my blog.........

how sad is that?????