Evening Blog,

Its a lovely evening here- UK- just got back from walking the dogs by the river- it was just lovely- blue sky, high cirrus clouds wisping across, sun just starting to head for home, the river like a millpond, rowers rowing, splish slash with their oars, geese honking, birds tweeting, just glorious. Makes you glad to be alive- and I have a friend I have just found out is probably dying- she's just dicovered she's got cancer. She doesnt smoke- unlike moi, who is right now even knowing I shouldn't- she plays a lot of sport, she eats healthily, and she's got cancer. Not the usual sort that women of a Certain Age often get, but a weird one- I shan't go into details cos really I really want to blot this knowledge out. As I am sure she does. What a bummer.......

This is why getting older and starting to Fade is No Fun- no fun at all. I must make an effort to make more of my life- such as I feel I have left now. When these things happen your mortality starts to hit you in the face- like a slap round the face with a wet fish. Thoughts of 'what's it all about' and 'will this horrible thing happen to me?' slip through your mind. And the alternative needs some thoughts- like if you live for any length of time what about Life in Old Age? Pensions, old folks homes, senility, Jeez I am really depressing myself here, and it is such a lovely evening. The irony of life eh?

Hmmmm....well there's not a lot I can do for my friend- other than the usual moral support etc, and theres' nothing I can do for myself either- cos even though I smoke and I worry about lung cancer- she didnt do any of these things and look what's happened. The old 'when your numbers up' stuff.

What can I do to cheer myself up? I think I'll go out and pick up a Nice Young Man. My husband is always going on about 'you're only as old as the woman you feel'. Well I feel like a Nice Young Man.....he! he! He's had his fun times so I think I might just have one or two myself... He won't know- he's always away- and I havent a clue what he's up to...Perhaps I shall- before I Fade so much no-one can see me, or I get sick like my friend.

Sorry to be depressing Blog- but this is another aspect of Fading....