Gosh- Am I in? This is all new to me......a weblog virgin. I hope its going to be fun and not become an obligation. Why should this be an obligation - I'm a free agent, aren't I ?

Well I thought I would start this, partly out of wanting something to do and partly because- if I can work out what to do- I wanted to get some feedback and thoughts from folk out there about Things.

You see I have reached A Certain Age- for a woman thats really hard. I know it probably sounds trite, especially with all the problems of the world that abound at the moment. But I can't do much of anything to change these things - especially the current Middle Eastern mess- and even worse, I think, at the end of the day, the impending environmental disaster heading all our ways. Mind you I try to do a little bit to help in the Averting an Environmental Disaster through my work, but its a mere drop in the ocean really- which makes you realise how little you can do as an individual to change big things.

So to save recurrent nightmares involving being drowned by the rising seas I retreat to my immediate situation which is, amongst other things, becoming a woman of a Certain Age. Shiver....The feeling of life passing you by............

I am home alone most of the week- my husband works away Monday to Friday. Our only child is now at University. So its often just me and the dogs. Now dont get me wrong- I dont just sit home alone and whimper- I do work and then there's all the Boring Housework- which is something you men mostly dont consider as a major feature in your lives- I read a lot, I go out with friends, I go to the gym, play tennis and so forth, but theres still this awful sinking feeling that half your life has passed and you are on the Other Side of the Great Divide - the side where sports injuries catch up with you, weight goes on no matter what you do, soon Horrible Illnesses might just strike, wrinkles appear as if from nowhere and really you look absolutely stupid in today's girlie fashions.

And you are Becoming Invisible. What I mean by this is that you start to fade- like Frodo did in Lord of the Rings after being stabbed by the Nazgul blade. Its the same when you are a young mother. People don't see you - you don't count. I watch people a lot and I see young mothers with babies ignored unless they happen to get in the way or stick the baby buggy out in the traffic before they cross a road (Have you noticed that? Why do they stick prams into the road first before they look round to see if its clear to cross?). Anyway- its the same as you get older- you start to fade in other peoples' perception and vision- and of course the older you get the worse it becomes. And it starts once you become a Certain Age. And its all to do with Sex. Its not so bad for you guys- you can get away with being the attractive Older Man for a while, but for women its still not the same. Anyone seen the recent film with Jack Nicholsen and Diane Keaton? He looks a bit sad but attractively naughty with his young girls- she just looked like Keanu Reeves mum....Need I say more. So how much am I actually fading into oblivion? Its a sobering thought........hhmmmm....can't be sober.....

Do other people feel the same way-or haven't they noticed? And what to do? Well, this is where some feedback would be great- but I have yet to work out how to create a link- and a link to what? Who knows? Maybe i'll have found out by the next entry!!